Every Church Does It Differently
If you''re getting married in a church, you''ll almost certainly be asked to complete some form of premarital preparation. But what that looks like varies dramatically by denomination — from a single meeting with the pastor to a year-long process involving assessments, classes, retreats, and mentoring couples.
Here''s what each major tradition typically requires.
Catholic Church
Required? Yes — mandatory for all Catholic weddings.
What it''s called: Pre-Cana (or marriage preparation)
What''s involved:
- Initial meeting with your parish priest or deacon (must begin 6–12 months before the wedding)
- Completion of a Pre-Cana program: either a weekend retreat, a series of evening classes, or one-on-one sessions with a mentor couple
- A formal assessment — most dioceses use FOCCUS or PREPARE/ENRICH
- A Natural Family Planning (NFP) session in many dioceses
- If either partner was previously married, an annulment must be granted before preparation can begin
Cost: $50–$200 for the Pre-Cana program. Some parishes offer it free. The FOCCUS assessment is typically $30–$50.
Timeline: Plan for 6–12 months from first meeting to wedding day.
Read more about Catholic marriage preparation →
Southern Baptist / Baptist
Required? Not formally by the denomination, but most Baptist pastors personally require it before agreeing to officiate.
What''s involved:
- 4–8 sessions with the pastor, typically covering faith, communication, finances, intimacy, and roles
- Some pastors use a structured curriculum like Preparing for Marriage by Dennis Rainey or Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott
- No formal assessment is required, but some pastors have adopted PREPARE/ENRICH
Cost: Usually free — included as pastoral care.
Timeline: Start 3–4 months before the wedding.
United Methodist Church
Required? Officially recommended by the denomination, and most Methodist pastors require it in practice.
What''s involved:
- 4–6 sessions with the pastor
- Many Methodist churches use the Before You Say "I Do" curriculum or a pastor-designed program
- Focus on covenant theology, communication, finances, and creating a Christ-centered home
- The United Methodist Book of Discipline directs pastors to provide "thorough counsel" before the wedding
Cost: Typically free.
Timeline: Start 3–6 months before the wedding.
Presbyterian Church (PCUSA / PCA)
Required? The Book of Order requires the pastor to meet with the couple before the wedding. Most pastors interpret this as multiple counseling sessions.
What''s involved:
- 3–6 sessions with the pastor
- Topics: covenant theology, reformed understanding of marriage, communication, finances
- PCA (more conservative) pastors tend to spend more time on complementarian roles; PCUSA pastors cover a broader range of family structures
Cost: Typically free.
Timeline: Start 2–4 months before the wedding.
Lutheran Church (ELCA / LCMS)
Required? Strongly encouraged by ELCA; generally required by LCMS pastors.
What''s involved:
- 4–6 sessions with the pastor
- LCMS pastors often use A Life Together curriculum and cover the Small Catechism''s teaching on marriage
- ELCA is more flexible — some pastors use secular assessments like PREPARE/ENRICH alongside theological content
Cost: Typically free.
Timeline: Start 3–6 months before the wedding.
Nondenominational / Evangelical
Required? Almost always required by the lead pastor. Nondenominational churches often have the most structured programs because they build them from scratch.
What''s involved:
- 6–12 sessions — nondenominational churches often have longer programs than mainline denominations
- Popular curricula: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, The Meaning of Marriage (Tim Keller), Love and Respect (Emerson Eggerichs)
- Many larger churches assign a mentor couple in addition to the pastor
- Assessments like SYMBIS or PREPARE/ENRICH are increasingly common
Cost: Free to $100 for materials.
Timeline: Start 3–6 months before the wedding.
Episcopal / Anglican
Required? The Book of Common Prayer requires the priest to instruct the couple about the nature of Christian marriage. Most Episcopal priests interpret this as at least 3–4 sessions.
What''s involved:
- 3–6 sessions with the priest
- Focus on the theology of marriage in the Anglican tradition, the wedding liturgy, communication, and pastoral concerns
- Some parishes use PREPARE/ENRICH or a locally developed curriculum
Cost: Typically free.
Timeline: Start 3–6 months before the wedding.
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS)
Required? Temple recommend interviews serve as the preparation process. Formal "premarital counseling" as other denominations practice it is less common.
What''s involved:
- Temple recommend interview with the bishop and stake president
- Many bishops provide some marriage preparation guidance during interviews
- Some wards offer marriage preparation classes
- Couples married in the temple are expected to have prepared through church participation, seminary, and institute
Timeline: Varies by ward and bishop.
What If Our Church Doesn''t Require It?
If your church doesn''t offer or require premarital counseling, that doesn''t mean you should skip it. Research shows that couples who do any form of intentional marriage preparation — whether through their church or with a licensed counselor — report higher satisfaction and lower divorce rates.
Options to consider:
- Ask your pastor to do informal sessions. Even 3–4 conversations structured around key topics is better than nothing.
- Take a structured assessment like PREPARE/ENRICH with a licensed counselor — results give you a roadmap for important conversations.
- Work with a licensed premarital counselor who can complement your pastor''s spiritual guidance with evidence-based relationship skills.
Browse premarital counselors by location →
Comparison Table
| Denomination | Required? | Typical Sessions | Assessment Used | Cost | |-------------|-----------|-----------------|----------------|------| | Catholic | Yes | 6–12+ months | FOCCUS or PREPARE/ENRICH | $50–$200 | | Baptist | Pastor''s discretion | 4–8 sessions | Varies | Free | | Methodist | Recommended | 4–6 sessions | Varies | Free | | Presbyterian | Pastor''s discretion | 3–6 sessions | Varies | Free | | Lutheran (LCMS) | Usually required | 4–6 sessions | Varies | Free | | Lutheran (ELCA) | Recommended | 4–6 sessions | PREPARE/ENRICH | Free | | Nondenominational | Almost always | 6–12 sessions | SYMBIS or PREPARE/ENRICH | Free–$100 | | Episcopal | Required | 3–6 sessions | Varies | Free | | LDS | Temple interview | Varies | None | Free |
Next Steps
- Talk to your pastor. Ask what your church requires and when to start.
- If you want to supplement with a licensed counselor, find one near you →
- Read about specific assessments: PREPARE/ENRICH · FOCCUS · SYMBIS · Gottman