If your pastor, counselor, or wedding officiant mentioned SYMBIS, here's what you need to know. SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) is a premarital assessment designed to help couples understand their relationship dynamics before the wedding.
It was created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, who also wrote the bestselling book of the same name. The assessment is widely used in church settings, premarital coaching, and some counseling practices.
What is SYMBIS?
SYMBIS is an online assessment that both partners take individually. It generates a personalized report that your facilitator uses to guide your premarital conversations.
The name stands for Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts — the idea being that the work you do before the wedding is what sets the foundation.
Unlike some longer clinical assessments, SYMBIS is designed to be quick and accessible — most couples finish it in about 25–35 minutes.
What does SYMBIS measure?
The assessment covers several core relationship dimensions:
- Love styles — how each of you naturally gives and receives love
- Communication patterns — how you talk, listen, and handle disagreements
- Conflict resolution — your default responses under stress
- Financial expectations — attitudes about money, spending, and saving
- Intimacy and sexuality — expectations and comfort levels
- Personality dynamics — how your individual personalities interact
- Family background — how your upbringing shapes your expectations for marriage
- Spiritual beliefs — shared values and how faith plays into your relationship
The output isn't a pass/fail score. It's a conversation map — areas where you align, areas where you differ, and areas that need intentional attention.
What the process looks like
1) Find a SYMBIS facilitator
SYMBIS is designed to be used with a trained facilitator — a pastor, counselor, coach, or mentor couple who has completed the SYMBIS certification.
2) Each partner takes the assessment online
You take it separately (not together), and it typically takes 25–35 minutes per person.
3) Your facilitator receives the report
The facilitator gets a detailed report with your combined results. You don't just get a printout — you get a guided conversation with someone trained to help you unpack it.
4) Debrief sessions
Your facilitator walks you through the results across 1–3 sessions, focusing on:
- Where you're naturally aligned
- Where your expectations differ
- Practical skills and conversation starters for growth areas
SYMBIS vs PREPARE/ENRICH vs FOCCUS
All three are legitimate premarital assessments, but they have different strengths:
SYMBIS
- Best for: Couples in church settings who want a quick, personality-focused assessment
- Depth: Broad but lighter — great conversation starter
- Time to complete: ~25–35 minutes per person
- Common setting: Churches, coaching, mentoring programs
PREPARE/ENRICH
- Best for: Couples who want a structured, data-driven assessment with deep clinical backing
- Depth: More comprehensive — covers more dimensions with more nuance
- Time to complete: ~30–45 minutes per person
- Common setting: Therapist offices, churches, coaching practices
- Learn more about PREPARE/ENRICH →
- Find PREPARE/ENRICH facilitators →
FOCCUS
- Best for: Catholic couples doing Pre-Cana marriage preparation
- Depth: Focused on faith-based marriage readiness
- Time to complete: ~30–40 minutes per person
- Common setting: Catholic parishes and diocesan programs
- Learn more about FOCCUS →
- Find Catholic Pre-Cana programs →
Bottom line: There's no "best" assessment. The best one is the one your facilitator knows how to use well. A great facilitator with any of these tools will give you more value than a mediocre facilitator with the "fanciest" assessment.
What to ask a SYMBIS facilitator before you start
- How many debrief sessions do you do? (1 is common but 2–3 is better)
- Do you do any follow-up sessions beyond the SYMBIS results?
- How do you handle areas where we have major differences?
- Do you supplement SYMBIS with other exercises or curriculum?
- What's your background? (pastor, licensed counselor, certified coach, mentor couple)
How much does SYMBIS cost?
The assessment fee itself is typically $35–$40 per couple, but this is usually bundled into whatever your facilitator charges for the full premarital program. You generally don't pay for the assessment separately.
For a full breakdown of premarital counseling costs: How much does premarital counseling cost? →
Find a premarital counselor
SYMBIS facilitators are common in church and coaching settings. To find premarital counselors in your area (including those who use SYMBIS and other assessment tools):
Find premarital counselors near you →
Or browse by approach: