If your pastor, counselor, or wedding officiant mentioned SYMBIS, here's what you need to know. SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) is a premarital assessment designed to help couples understand their relationship dynamics before the wedding.
It was created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, a married couple who are both psychologists, and who also wrote the bestselling book of the same name. The assessment is widely used in church settings, premarital coaching, and some counseling practices.
What is SYMBIS?#
SYMBIS is an online assessment that both partners take individually. It generates a personalized report that your facilitator uses to guide your premarital conversations.
The name stands for Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. The idea behind it is that the work you do before the wedding is what sets the foundation for everything after.
Unlike some longer clinical assessments, SYMBIS is designed to be quick and accessible. Most couples finish it in well under an hour per person.
How the online questionnaire works#
The process is straightforward:
- Your facilitator sends each of you an invitation with a link to the questionnaire.
- Each partner answers separately, on their own device, at their own pace. You don't see each other's answers.
- The questions cover topic areas, not trivia. You'll respond to statements and questions about how you communicate, how you handle conflict, your expectations for the marriage, your attitudes about money, your families, and your personalities. The point is honest self-reporting, not right answers.
- SYMBIS combines your two sets of answers into a single personalized report that goes to your facilitator.
Because it's fully online, couples in different cities (or different schedules) can complete it without coordinating a meeting time.
A few practical tips for the questionnaire itself:
- Answer for yourself, not for the relationship you wish you had. The report is only as useful as your honesty.
- Don't take it together. If one of you can see or hear the other's answers, the comparison data loses its value.
- Finish it before your first debrief session. Your facilitator needs time to review the combined report before they can guide you through it.
What the personalized report covers#
The report is the heart of SYMBIS. Rather than a single score, it maps out how the two of you compare across the major dimensions of married life. In general terms, it covers:
- Personality dynamics (how your individual personalities interact, and where they'll naturally mesh or rub)
- Expectations for marriage (what each of you assumes the relationship will look like)
- Finances (attitudes about money, spending, saving, and debt)
- Communication and conflict (how you talk, listen, and respond under stress)
- Love and intimacy (how each of you gives and receives love, and your expectations for closeness)
- Family background (how your upbringing shapes what you bring into the marriage)
- Spiritual beliefs (shared values and the role faith plays in your relationship)
The output isn't a pass/fail score. It's a conversation map: areas where you align, areas where you differ, and areas that need intentional attention.
The facilitator model#
SYMBIS is designed to be used with a trained facilitator, not taken alone. That facilitator might be a pastor, a licensed counselor, a certified coach, or a trained mentor couple.
How couples find one#
There are a few common paths:
- Ask your church. Many pastors and church staff are SYMBIS certified and use it as the backbone of their premarital program.
- Search the SYMBIS website. Symbisassessment.com maintains a directory of certified facilitators.
- Work with a counselor or coach. Many premarital counselors and relationship coaches offer SYMBIS as part of their practice.
You don't just get a printout of your report. You get a guided conversation with someone trained to help you unpack it.
Becoming a SYMBIS facilitator (for counselors, pastors, and coaches)#
If you're on the other side of this, SYMBIS offers a facilitator certification that is completed through online training. It's open to clergy, counselors, coaches, and mentor couples, not only licensed therapists. Certified facilitators can then administer the assessment to couples, receive their reports, and lead the debrief sessions. It's a popular add-on for church marriage ministries and premarital coaching practices because the training is remote and the assessment handles the scoring automatically.
What the process looks like#
1) Find a SYMBIS facilitator#
Start with your church, the SYMBIS facilitator directory, or a premarital counselor you trust.
2) Each partner takes the assessment online#
You take it separately (not together), and most couples finish in well under an hour per person.
3) Your facilitator receives the report#
The facilitator gets a detailed report with your combined results before you meet.
4) Debrief sessions#
Your facilitator walks you through the results across a few sessions, focusing on:
- Where you're naturally aligned
- Where your expectations differ
- Practical skills and conversation starters for growth areas
What a good debrief actually feels like#
The report gives structure, but the facilitator gives it meaning. In a good debrief, you'll spend most of the time talking to each other, not listening to a lecture. The facilitator points at a section of the report, asks a question, and lets the two of you work. Expect some moments that feel affirming ("we're more aligned than we thought") and a few that feel uncomfortable ("we have never actually talked about that"). Both are the point.
What about couples who are already married?#
There's a companion version, SYMBIS+, designed for couples who are already married and want the same kind of structured check-in.
SYMBIS vs PREPARE/ENRICH vs FOCCUS#
All three are legitimate premarital assessments, but they have different strengths:
SYMBIS#
- Best for: Couples in church settings who want a quick, personality-focused assessment
- Depth: Broad but lighter, a great conversation starter
- Time to complete: Well under an hour per person
- Common setting: Churches, coaching, mentoring programs
PREPARE/ENRICH#
- Best for: Couples who want a structured, data-driven assessment with deep clinical backing
- Depth: More comprehensive, covering more dimensions with more nuance
- Time to complete: Roughly 30 to 45 minutes per person
- Common setting: Therapist offices, churches, coaching practices
- Learn more about PREPARE/ENRICH →
- Find PREPARE/ENRICH facilitators →
FOCCUS#
- Best for: Catholic couples doing Pre-Cana marriage preparation
- Depth: Focused on faith-based marriage readiness
- Time to complete: Roughly an hour or less per person
- Common setting: Catholic parishes and diocesan programs
- Learn more about FOCCUS →
- Find Christian premarital counselors →
Bottom line: There's no "best" assessment. The best one is the one your facilitator knows how to use well. A great facilitator with any of these tools will give you more value than a mediocre facilitator with the "fanciest" assessment.
If your church or officiant requires a specific one, that settles it. If you have a free choice, pick the facilitator first and let them choose the tool. You can compare all three in depth here or browse premarital counselors near you and ask which assessment they use.
Where SYMBIS shines (and where it doesn't)#
SYMBIS is at its best as a structured starting point. It's fast, it's accessible, and the report gives couples a shared vocabulary for their differences. For couples who have never talked seriously about money, family expectations, or conflict styles, that alone is worth the fee.
Its limitation is depth. SYMBIS is intentionally lighter than clinical assessments like PREPARE/ENRICH, and it is not therapy. If your relationship has heavier issues to work through, a licensed counselor (with or without an assessment) is the better tool.
What to ask a SYMBIS facilitator before you start#
- How many debrief sessions do you do? (One is common but two or three is better.)
- Do you do any follow-up sessions beyond the SYMBIS results?
- How do you handle areas where we have major differences?
- Do you supplement SYMBIS with other exercises or curriculum?
- What's your background? (Pastor, licensed counselor, certified coach, mentor couple.)
How much does SYMBIS cost?#
As of 2026, the assessment itself commonly runs about $35 per couple, plus your facilitator's session fees. Pricing can change, so confirm the current cost at symbisassessment.com before you commit. Many facilitators bundle the assessment fee into the total price of their premarital program, so you may never pay for it as a separate line item.
For a full breakdown of premarital counseling costs: How much does premarital counseling cost? →
Frequently asked questions about SYMBIS#
What is the SYMBIS assessment?#
SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) is an online premarital assessment created by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott. Both partners answer the questionnaire separately, and a certified facilitator uses the combined personalized report to guide your premarital conversations.
How much does SYMBIS cost?#
As of 2026, the assessment itself commonly runs about $35 per couple, plus whatever your facilitator charges for the debrief sessions. Many facilitators bundle it into their program fee. Confirm current pricing at symbisassessment.com.
How do I find a SYMBIS facilitator?#
Ask your church first, since many pastors are certified. You can also search the facilitator directory at symbisassessment.com, or look for premarital counselors and coaches who offer SYMBIS in their practice.
Can I take SYMBIS online?#
Yes, the questionnaire itself is fully online, and each partner can complete it on their own device. The debrief sessions with your facilitator may be in person or over video, depending on the facilitator.
How does SYMBIS compare to PREPARE/ENRICH?#
SYMBIS is quicker and more personality-focused, while PREPARE/ENRICH is longer and more clinically comprehensive. We compare them head to head here: PREPARE/ENRICH vs Gottman vs SYMBIS →.
How do I become a SYMBIS facilitator?#
SYMBIS offers an online certification training that is open to pastors, counselors, coaches, and mentor couples, not just licensed therapists. Once certified, you can administer the assessment and lead couples through their reports.
Find a premarital counselor#
SYMBIS facilitators are common in church and coaching settings. To find premarital counselors in your area (including those who use SYMBIS and other assessment tools):
Find premarital counselors near you →
Or browse by approach:
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